The Fortune Says: "Travelling to the south will bring you unexpected happiness"

Thursday, April 24 2008
In Reno, our fortune cookie assured us the trip south would do us well. That was hard to imagine getting in the car amid an ice storm at 9am this morning in Salt Lake City. For the first three hours of our drive down US-6, an amazing route through Wasatch ranges into the Capital Reef canyons, my dad and I argued, cried, blamed and eventually grew. I had to lighten up a little bit in the bathroom of a rural gas station which had these pictures on the wall.



There is no sense in Dan's Depression. He fought the disease for his whole life. It's impossible for me (and my parents) not to feel guilt for our unawareness or at least our temporary lack of vigilance to ensure Dan was supported. Once the tension subsided we turned on the radio and found a scratchy NPR affiliate out of Price Utah. The Talk of the Nation was on and this story ran:

Growing Up on Antidepressants

Listen Now [30 min 18 sec]

Dan battled his mental illness through a variety of therapies: pharmaceutical, experiential, talk-based. Anything that would keep him out of the darkness that only he knew. For the last several years, he successfully treated it with the medication Paxil. However, he would occasionally try to reduce his dosage or take a break from it altogether. We believe that at the time of his suicide he was taking a small dose or possibly none at all.

His psychiatrist in Berkeley told us Dan did not ask for a new prescription and there were left-over pills in his apartment indicating he had chosen to not take the drug. The doctor also said that Dan seemed fine in their last session, which took place on Friday April 11th, less than a week before he died. We were all riveted by the radio show and suggest anyone who questions the efficacy or potential side effects of anti-depressants to battle Depression listen to the piece. One sobering statistic is that between 2% and 12% of Americans suffering from Depression kill themselves.

The afternoon was much better and the landscape served as inspiration to let go a little bit of our loss. The final stretch into Crested Butte was incredibly beautiful and I was so happy to be bringing my parents to Aunt Lucille's home, which they had never visited.


Blue Mesa Lake on Route 50 between Montrose and Gunnison, Colorado